At the hospital

When we got to the hospital, after dad went to he wrong door, after they sent us up to maternity, we met a lovely nurse who immediately asked mom "why do you think the baby will be born tonite ?" and "does it hurt ?". Now I would have taken moms inability to stand and the distorted look of pain on her face as sufficient to preclude asking the obvious but the nurse asked anyway.

Those of you who have seen "The Exorcist" can envision what happened next: mom's head rotated 360 degrees while she spewed a very vivid description of the pain. The nurse performed a very brief exam and announced that I would be born "within minutes". We were all rushed to a birthing room, mom got into bed and while dad washed his hands, the Dr. arrived and "took a look". As dad came out of the bathroom and the Dr. turned to the maternity nurse to say something, I made my move. The amniotic fluid came out like a geyser and went everywhere ... the Dr. was covered, mom was covered, the room was covered (Dad escaped) and just as quickly, I came out.

Bill Cosby does a routine where he sits, mimicing a baseball catcher pounding his mitt, while waiting for the baby to shoot out. That is how it was with me .. I think the Dr. almost dropped me it was so fast. Equally fast the room filled with people who had been called to "join the fun" ... the emergency staff from "newborn", complete with their toolboxes of equipment. I didn't know so many people could fit in that small room...... And all the while, they all "worked" on me and poor mom and dad barely got a chance to even see what I looked like.....